Unfortunately, my fiancé passed away last month.
He had an honorable discharge from the Army and is eligible for burial at Arlington National Cemetery, where he previously expressed he would like to be buried. Unfortunately, I do not have a power of attorney [POA] and we weren’t married.
I have his military ID and his DD214, his discharge form.
ANC does not recognize me as an authorized person to make a determination of disposition of remains. arlingtoncemetery.mil
His immediate next of kin have all predeceased him. I have tried looking for distant relatives, including a paid public records search site and posting on community Facebook pages where he / family lived previously. The funeral home has searched for and identified a few relatives / their obituaries, but could not locate extended family.
In WA state, where he lived with me, the county has determined I am his next of kin. I have a letter stating this from the funeral home. The funeral home here in WA state is willing to keep him until transfer to a funeral home in Virginia a few days before a funeral at Arlington National Cemetery.
Though, they thought it might take a year, which is too long to hold remains.
While grieving, this is an extra layer of heaviness, trying to lay him to rest per his wishes.
I hope I can help others have an easy journey if they have a similar situation.
Certainly, preparing a will or POA would be best to avoid this situation.
This is not endorsement or legal advice, but these sites may be of help:
Vet Uplift | Veteran Legal Aid in Arlington (2026 Guide)
Military Law in Arlington, VA | Parlatore Law Group
Legal Asisstance Services For Soldier | The Official Army Benefits Website
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